Ever find yourself on a Tinder date that’s not going well and your searching through hell and high water for a chance to get out of there fast. Don’t worry buddy, we’ve all been there. Truth is it doesn’t really matter if you two did meet on the best hookup apps, there is no guarantee that the date will be a huge success, or if the person in real life is not what they seem on their dating profile. But have no fear, because here are the 5 best excuses you can use to bail on a bad Tinder date. These old reliable are gold to getting you out of an “oh God please end it” type of situation.
Excuse #4- “I forgot to feed my cat”.
What you need: fake phone call/text.
It sounds pretty made up, but is it? All it takes is to have a friend call you acting like your next-door neighbor or as your building supervisor, and tell you that your cat has been meowing uncontrollably for the past hour. Then act like you forgot to leave some food out for her and that you have to rush to buy some from the market and then rush back home. If the date is that awful then it’s worth a shot.
Excuse #3- “Someone’s coughing in the bathroom”
What you need: good acting skills.
A cough today has the power to clear out an entire neighborhood like it was a bomb threat. Here in the middle of your date, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Once you’re in there, stay there for a while. When you come out, act scared and out of sorts. When they finally ask what’s wrong, explain how someone was coughing uncontrollably in the bathroom and saying something about positive results. Once you near the end of your story, signal to the waiter to get the check. Add in a few coughs for dramatic effects.
Excuse #2- “I meant to swipe left”
What you need: the right moment.
This is sort of a Hail Mary but you can try to be coy with it. In fact, don’t come outright and say it. Maybe say it in joking or in passing. Subtly say how you meant to swipe left instead of right but “oh well here we are.” Once you’ve managed to say it, brace yourself for a prolonged moment of awkward silence. However, if you want to break the silence the best way to do it is to stick your head out and yell “check please.”
Excuse #1- Get up and leave.
What you need: 0 fucks.
Of course, if all else fails you can just get up and walk out. After all you did meet them on a dating app. So the chances are that a quick unmatch is all it would really take to never see them again. If you’re not a big believer in bad karma take that final sip of your Beaujolais red wine before biding them “au revoir”.