Even old-time partners not always can notice when something is wrong with their relationship. Some behavioral patterns, like emotional violence or physical abuse, can seem normal and common for them because they were raised this way or adhered to principles dictated by society. That is why it is vital to regularly check your relationship according to certain criteria and check if they are still healthy. Only in such a union, you will both feel happy, so let’s get started.
1) Sex always happens by consent
In a healthy relationship, there is no place for violence — physical, emotional, financial, or sexual. To realize that relations are abusive is not always easy, especially considering the conviction that girls learn from childhood which tells that a man should not be rejected. However, if sex happens from time to time against your desire, it is worth asking yourself if you are being abused and seeking help.
However, a woman does not always suffer from violence, although this is indeed the case more often. A healthy treating of sex in a couple is the realization that both do not always want each other at the same time and willingness to quietly accept rejection. If it seems to you that the partner’s interest in sex has decreased, it is better to calmly discuss the situation, but putting pressure on them, in this case, will be a manifestation of violence.
2) Mismatch of interests is not a problem
It is not necessary to be together around the clock and dissolve in each other to be a good couple. It’s great when you have common interests, inside jokes, and things dear for the two of you, but this is not at all the most important thing in a relationship. Of course, to spend more time together, you can try to entice your partner with what you are interested in or, conversely, try to get involved in their favorite activities.
Nevertheless, it’s perfectly normal if you like different music, different TV shows, and, while traveling, prefer to lie on the beach while your partner goes to museums or shops or vice versa. It is much more important to coincide in outlooks and life views.
3) You can spend time separately
This one complements the previous criteria: different interests may mean, for example, a different social circle. If you always have more fun without a partner, you should think about the state of your relationship, though. But in a healthy relationship, there is no jealousy or suspicion if someone occasionally spends the evening with their friends or often happens to go on business trips alone. It’s one thing to miss each other and rather want to see each other, but to suffer from suspicions that your partner is cheating on you when you travel is quite another.
Trust and adequate amount of communication are key factors in a healthy relationship. Missed phone calls can be explained by a dead battery, and if a person does not respond to messages, it can be due to them having a keen conversation with friends. In order not to worry in vain, you should warn each other about delays or changing plans and never disappear silently.
4) You have similar views on important issues
At the initial stage of relations, many are embarrassed to discuss topics such as budget, children, religious or ethical values. Well, you should because the further things will get, the more problems they will cause. If one person in a couple wants to have children, and for some reason, they were convinced that the second one does too, but this was never discussed, there will be a problem when it turns out that the partner wants to stay childfree.
Principal issues are best discussed at the beginning of a relationship. Answers to them will help to understand how to perceive these relationships and whether it is
worth engaging in them at all. In a marriage where people do not agree on the fundamental things, criticism in a relationship may occur.
5) Conflicts are resolved through discussion
And once again, communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Not everything is always cloudless. Conflict may occur for serious reasons or because of the accumulation of simple irritation. Healthy relationships are not necessarily conflict-free – it is important that the problems that have arisen are discussed, and the discussion helps the situation to not happen again.
If everyone is aware of the value of relationships and wants to continue and develop them, then conflicts will be perceived as moments for reflection, discussion, and learning useful lessons. You should not save offenses to once remember them to each other – directly explain what does not please you and decide how you can improve the situation.