What is the difference between Yizkor and Yahrzeit?

There’s no denying the fact that our collective religious and cultural traditions are part of who we are. Plus, specific occurrences in our lives lead us to seek ways to create poignant memories. Let’s take a clear example: death. 

First, the grieving process isn’t something we can take lightly. When a loved one passes away and gets buried, we are usually left with a void. Filling such a gap post-interment can be emotionally draining. Prayer can be one way to work through the pain and create lasting mementos. 

In Jewish tradition, two words come to mind as we focus our energy toward preserving the memory of a loved one: Yahrzeit and Yizkor. What is the meaning of a yahrzeit prayer? What’s the difference between the two words? Let’s dive deep to find out. 

Yahrzeit

In Jewish terminology, Yahrzeit denotes an annual memorialization of a loved one’s death. Such a commemoration plays a significant part in the lives of those left behind, who congregate in remembrance of their departed. Yahrzeit and Yizkor (more on this in a bit) are characterized by positive charitable deeds on the given day. However, Yahrzeit only occurs once a year, a period that may also be characterized by fasting and study of the Torah. 

During the funeral and as an annual mourning ritual, participants recite the Mourner’s Kaddish- a prayer in honor of the departed. Mourners mark the start of the Yahrzeit period by lighting a candle on a night preceding the anniversary. 

The candle is kept alight for 24 hours, during which family members swap stories about the loved one. It’s also a period of reflection and self-evaluation for most of us. Why a candle? In Judaism, a flame symbolizes the soul, thus the significance of keeping the flame alight during the commemoration. Yahrzeit proceeds over a longer duration (daily, during the week of mourning). 

The Yahrzeit prayer may also involve visiting a loved one’s gravesite to recite the mourners’ prayer and psalms. To do this requires a quorum of 10 men- those over age 13. A call-up for the reading of scripture (Torah) is organized in the case of a male mourner if the memorial falls on a Monday, Shabbat, or Thursday. Usually, the Rabbi offers a prayer. 

Yahrzeit prayers are often led by a male relative of the deceased at the synagogue. Other family members may also offer a talk based on a reading of scripture from the Torah in remembrance of a loved one.

Unlike Yizkor, Yahrzeit involves a personal commemoration of immediate relatives- child, parent, or spouse. To create perpetual memories, some synagogues have the Rabbi read out the name of a loved one during the Shabbat service falling in the week celebrating Yahrzeit. This can be done in perpetuity as a reminder that the spirit of the departed lives on among us. 

Yizkor

Yizkor is drawn from the word ‘zakhor,’ implying to remember. Yizkor involves reciting a short prayer four times annually during special Jewish celebrations. These festivals include:

• Yom Kippur- after the Torah reading
• Shemini Atzeret- upon completion of Sukkot
• 8th Day of Pesach (Passover)
• 2nd Day of Shavuot

Such a prayer is usually a form of communal worship made in remembrance of a deceased loved one. Unlike Yahrzeit, which focuses on commemorating immediate family members, Yizkor recitals may be conducted for a departed family member, relative, friend, or the Jewish community. By exalting God for their life, we make a Yizkor prayer and request His favor in return for our acts of kindness or charity. Our prayer is that God shows grace by uplifting a loved one’s soul in the spiritual realm. 

Memorialization of the departed by donating to charity in their name is customary in Jewish culture. It becomes second nature for us to remember people we’ve loved for their joy, warmth, and companionship after they pass on. Thus, as a testimonial to the significant part they played in our lives, charitable giving becomes standard fare.  

Such giving helps loved ones build an unbreakable bond with the deceased. It also helps carry the departed individual’s legacy forward. 

Let’s break down the Yizkor prayer into its core parts. Generally, it involves the following actions: 

• Chanting and recitation of prayers and scriptural readings.
• Reflective reading as participants remembers a departed loved one.
• The Cantor’s chanting of the memorial prayer (EL Male Rahamim)
• Recitation of the Av HaRahamim by all the congregants as they pay homage to Jewish martyrs.

For the most part, taking part in memorial services in honor of a departed loved one long after they’re gone helps maintain our connection with them. Thus, we can move on with our lives after a period of mourning without clinging to difficult memories. If you’re struggling with grief, and need someone to talk to, a grief counselor, close friend, or Rabbi can offer you a helping hand.