How to Deal with Aging Parents Who Refuse Help?

As adults age, they often start struggling to carry out small daily activities by themselves. They also find it difficult to take good care of themselves, take medications, perform small errands, and also are at risk of loneliness and isolation as well. This is when these aging adults should opt for help and elderly companion care.

However, at times, most aging parents refuse to get help. This article is aimed at those individuals specifically. A study by researchers at Penn State University stated that 77% of adult children have parents who refuse to get help with daily tasks.

Try to Understand the Reason Behind Their Behavior

Children should realize that aging is, in fact, a difficult process for every individual. As adults age, they mostly suffer from dementia or other mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression. By understanding how your parents might be feeling can help you communicate with and understand them better.

Realize that your parents’ autonomy is important to them. Moreover, you should also ask yourself some questions related to your loved ones’ behavior: Are they acting this way because of their habit? Do they want to be independent? Are they suffering from depression or other mental health issues? Do they have dementia? Are they afraid of getting help? If so, why?

Therefore, it is imperative to identify the root cause of your parents’ behavior, as this can help identify the best way to bring about positive changes.

Eradicate Their Fear of Change and Losing Control

One of the primary reasons why aging adults deny getting help is fear of change and fear of losing control. Let’s accept the fact- everyone fears change, whether we realize it or not. People don’t necessarily like getting out of their comfort zone. Thus, it is important to realize that your aging parents might feel the same way.

The best way to let them know otherwise is to tell them that it is going to be a minor change. Everything is going to be the same, and they’ll be able to keep up with their daily routine for the most part while receiving extra care and support in elderly companion care.

Moreover, it is also crucial to let them know that getting help doesn’t mean their dependence will increase- they will remain autonomous, except for receiving help and support at the same time. Explain to them how their quality of life will improve if they agree to get help. Also, let them know they’re not alone- around 30% of people between the ages of 75 and 84 receive elderly help. Moreover, around 55% of those aged 85 and older receive in-home elderly care.

Learn to Accept the Situation

Although you wish you could control your aging parents for their own benefit, the reality, however, is that you can’t really force them to do something they do not comply with.  Remember, you’re trying to do what’s best for them, and they are well aware of this as well. However, if you are unable to do this, learn to accept the situation, as well as their feelings.

Even Though accepting this fact is a hard task, this will actually help lower your stress and even improve your relationship with your aging parents.

Treat Your Aging Parents Like Adults

At times, it may feel as if you and your aging parents have switched roles. You should always keep in mind that they are, in fact, still your parents and deserve respect. Moreover, you should also avoid infantilizing your parents. You should keep in mind that dealing with stubborn parents is not the same as dealing with stubborn children. This is because elders should be autonomous, unlike children.

In case your parents start acting irrationally, do not threaten them to move them into an old age home, or anything of that sort. This is because these tactics will only make things more difficult. It will be unwise to create any more misunderstandings.

Moreover, always remember that the ultimate goal is to help your aging parents receive help and the best care possible.

Therefore, you will, for sure, get more fruitful results if you treat your aging parents as the adults that they are.

Ask Them to Do it for Their Grandchildren

If your aging parents are not willing to change their behavior or actions for themselves, they might change for the sake of another loved one. Most adults even quit smoking for the sake of their grandchildren! Therefore, communicate with them how it would be nice for the grandchildren if they agree to get help. Moreover, also remind your parents that you would want them to stick around for a long time to see their children grow, and that will only be possible if they agree to get help.

Be Direct About Your Feelings

Sometimes in the midst of agreeing and disagreeing to getting help, both fail to express their feelings. Therefore, it is important to be direct to your aging parents about how all this affects you. Learn to communicate your worries to your parents, and also explain how your stress and anxiety will alleviate if they follow your advice.

Find An Outlet for Your Feelings

Constantly persuading your aging parents to get help can be frustrating, and can even add more to your anxiety and stress. Remember, it’s important to vent if you get angry and stressed out when your parents refuse to get help. Confide in a friend, sibling, therapist, support group, or senior living advisor.

Plan Ahead – and Talk About Those Plans With Your Parents

Dealing with aging parents, especially ones suffering from dementia and other illnesses, can be frustrating for children, as well as other family members. This is why it is imperative to always plan ahead with your aging parents, making sure every other family member actively takes part. The aim is to make sure your parents are being looked after, which is why it will be wise to plan everything beforehand.