Things Not to Say to Someone with a Life-Threatening Illness

It feels like a punch in the face when a loved one tells you they’ve been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. You’re not sure how to react or what to say. All you know is that your friend or relative needs you, and you want to do whatever you can to help.

At first, you might be overwhelmed or shocked by the news. Or you might feel an immediate sense of grief. It’s never a simple thing to hear, and there’s no right or wrong way to approach the situation. Your feelings are valid, and taking a step back to understand them is an essential part of the coping process.Reaching out to your friend or family member is crucial. Unless they specifically say that they’d rather be left alone for a while, they’re going to need familiar faces around.

Although unintentional, some conversation starters could hurt your loved one that you’ll want to avoid. Here are a few examples of what not to say and ideas of what to say instead.

“How Are You Feeling?”

Starting a conversation with “how are you feeling” opens many doors that someone with a life-threatening illness might not want to discuss. They might not want to divulge how they’re feeling or the details about their condition. An alternative way to greet your family member or friend is to tell them how incredible it is to see them. By showing how sincerely excited you are to see them, you’re focusing on them and not their illness.

“My Friend Had the Same Thing and Got Better.”

You might think it’sencouraging but discussing other people’s illnesses can be dangerous for your loved one. Everybody reacts to treatments and medications differently, so comparing two people with the same disease won’t guarantee anything. Refrain from giving false hope and concentrate on the here and now. Ask how you can help with practical things, like picking up prescriptions.

“You Look Fine.”

Telling someone with a life-threatening illness that they look fine isn’t going to help anyone. Consider how your loved one might respond to such a statement. Your family member may be taking medication that causes a lot of physical pain, and as they embark upon this new chapter in their life, there’s a big chance that they’re not feeling too great. Even if it sounds like a positive thing to say, it might sound as if you don’t believe them or that you’re downplaying the situation. Instead, talk about how much of an impact they’ve had on your life. Take a stroll down memory lane and highlight all of the beautiful memories you share.

Other Ways to Help

Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Make them meals and help around the house. Consider asking your loved one if they’ve ever thought about home palliative care services in Torontoor the GTA. You could help them find the perfect home healthcare provider that offers compassionate palliative care to get the loving support they need. And most importantly, be there to hold their hand when they need.

Learning that someone you love has a life-threatening illness is hard and knowing what to say at first is a lot more challenging than you’d think. Remembering to approach a conversation with empathy and compassionis the best thing you can do.